Pure
by Gummy Rocks
Summary: What happens when Thalia develops an eating disorder and turns anorexic? On top of it, being depressed doesn't help. So how does Percy fit into this story? Thalico and Perlia!
1. Chapter 1

I looked at myself in the mirror. The person looking back at me made me flinch. Underneath my eyes it was a dark purple-black. My skin looked as if it were almost transparent. It was so pale. My blue eyes were dull and looked empty, yet they stood out on my face. After all, it was the only bright color there. My raven black hair had grown out some, since I haven't cared to cut it. My eyes wondered down to my body. I was wearing a grey muscle shirt and some short black shorts. My arms looked scrawnier then ever. They were always nutrition with healthy muscles, which they seem to be lacking these days. My eyes went down to my stomach, where luckily my shirt was covering the truth underneath. I wanted to lift up the material, to expose what it hid, but I knew better. So I just stood there, looking in the mirror, thinking about the girl I once was. The Thalia five years ago would have never aloud this to happen. She would have almost pitted anyone this happened to. She would think how dumb they could have possibly been to do this to themselves. She would admit that she had no idea how anyone could live like it. She would also say she was ignorant as to why people did it. The Thalia five years ago would have made a promise to herself that she would never do such a thing. Yet, here I am, breaking that promise to myself.

I finally got tired of looking at myself, all broken and shaken. At times, it's painful to view myself. So I just picture the old me. I walked out of my bathroom, flicking off the switch on the way out. I walked over to my bed and flopped down. My bed didn't make a sound, as if I was just a feather, which I could imagine I am. I looked up at my ceiling, just staring at, for what seemed like hours. I would like to say I was lost in thought. Or was thinking about what I was going to do later in the day. The thing is, my mind was blank, blanker then an empty disk. It's times like this that drive me insane. I sighed and turned over, now facing my grey wall. That's when it hit me, my wall was grey. Grey just likes me. Starring at it for five minutes made me wonder way I had it painted grey. It's so depressing and gloomy. It's not something that would make you cheerful. I guess, my wall reflected my personality these days, always so depressed and in the dumps. I lye there, staring at my wall for a couple of more minutes. I jumped when my phone started ringing.

I slid off my bed, walking over to my bed stand. I picked up my BlackBerry, looking at the screen. To my amazement it was Percy. Now it wasn't just the simple fact that Percy was calling me, but the fact that anyone in general was calling me. Nobody seemed to want to talk to me these days. Then again, could I really blame them?

"Hello?" I asked, answering my phone. Percy started to say something, but stopped.

"Are you okay?" He asked me back I rolled my eyes and sat on my bed, knowing this was going to be a long conversation. Everybody always had to think something was wrong with me these days. They also never let me go without a trowel explanation as to what was wrong. So maybe that was why nobody called me, because I always shut them down. I have become very good with tuning people out.

"I'm fine." I said, keeping my answer as short as possible.

"Are you sure? You don't sound fine." He asked hesitantly, clearly not believing me. See that's the thing with Percy. He cared entirely too much. If I were to say I was fine to anyone else, they would have just left it at that. They would have just thought that I was having a bad day. With Percy, he knew when something was wrong with me, or when I was lying.

"Percy, I'm fine." I tried to put venom in my words, to make it clear that I didn't want to discuss further in with it. It's just that these days, I didn't have much venom left in me. I was also so damn tired.

"Okay…" He sounded like he was going to argue with me, but decided against it. It was silent for sometime. He was probably waiting for me to say something, while I was waiting for him to hang up. It was silent for a few more moments, finally Percy cleared his throat.

"Can I ask you for a favor, I understand that it's huge but I need help." He said. Now, the old Thalia would have laughed. She would have teased him endlessly. How she couldn't believe that the savior of Olympus needed her help. Or she knew one of these days he would need her mercy. I just didn't have the energy to do so.

"What do you need?" I asked, lying down on my bed, yet again. He took another big breath, clearly nervous as to what he was going to ask.

"Do you think it's possible that I could stay with you for a while?" I sat up.

"Why would you need to stay with me? Don't you and Annabeth have a place together?" I asked, confused and curious.

"Well, you see, we kind of got into a fight and broke up." I lye back down, not really worried. They always fight, so I knew it couldn't be serious. Percy hesitated to go on.

"Well this would be much easier if we could meet in person. How does dinner sound?" My stomach dropped as soon as he said this. I knew I had to keep an image though. I sighed.

"Where do you want to meet?" After Percy decided that we could just meet up at a Chipotle, I got off of my bed and walked over to my closet. I opened the door and walked in. I turned to my right; I looked at the clothes that I wouldn't dream of fitting. It was the clothes that were smalls and a size six. It kind of made my heart pang. I reached up and touched a pair of my black skinnys. They were my favorite pair; they were the ones that Nico bought me. Nico.

I quickly dropped my hand away from the jeans, and turned around to the left side of the closet, the side that I have been living off of. It was the size that held X Small shirts, and size three jeans. It also had the sweat pants and overly huge shirts and sweat shirts. I usually preferred these choice clothes rather then my old Punk style. I went to reach for some black sweat pants, but dropped my hand. I got a pair of my black skinny jeans and I muscle shirt. I made my way to the bathroom and put on my clothes. I tried my best to shield my eyes from my stomach. I knew I would just throw up the acid in my stomach if I looked. I reached over to my medicine cabin, going to grab some make-up to throw on, but decided against it. If I put make-up on, I would have to look in the mirror and face reality. I so badly wanted to look down to see how I looked in my choice of clothing. But I knew the answer, I looked weird. I didn't look like Thalia, and everybody knew it. I walked back to my room and shoved my phone in my pocket. I grabbed my wallet and my keys, getting ready to head. I walked to my front door, and went out to the garage. I unlocked my Lamborghini Gallardo and hoped in. I backed out of my drive way, heading to Chipotle. I turned up the radio, which has been my savior. It was the thing that blasted the thoughts out of my head. IT made me not have to think. It was only a couple of minutes until I pulled into the Chipotle parking lot. I saw Percy waiting in his blue Mustang. I parked next to him. I was about to open my door, but reached back in my backseat and grabbed my hoddie. I pulled it over my head and down so it covers half way down my thigh. It hides the evident really well. IT won't reveal my grief or pain. It won't show a sign of weakness about me. It doesn't let others know about my life. Yeah, it hides me pretty well. Yet, I still know what's underneath.

Sao how did you like it? Should I continue? Let me know in a review! Also, this chapter was suppose to be somewhat confusing, explanation is to come.


	2. Fuck it

"Why haven't you eaten any of your tacos?" Percy asked me, with a mouth full of burrito, and cheeks that resembled a Chick monk's. His questioned caught me off guard. Being to busy starring out a window, completely lost in thought. I looked away from the window and back at Percy. Trying my best to stall from having to answer his questioned, I really got a good look at Percy.

He had changed a lot over the years. His sea green eyes had gotten darker, the exact color of seaweed. He had pure black hair, which was cut like a Surfer's. His bangs invaded his eyes, meaning that every other second he would flick his head, moving the bangs. His skin was a perfect tan. The kind of tan every other girl and some guys shoot for, but never get it right. His skin was flawless, and his teeth were perfectly straight and white. You could see his muscles, from his neck, to his shoulders, even through his shirt, you knew they were there. I guess you could say he has a swimmer's body. Every thing about him screamed 'Look at me! I'm the Son of the Sea with the looks to prove it!'

I looked away from Percy, silently giving thanks that he looked nothing like a certain son of Hades. Instead, I looked down at my tacos, the very things that could give me away. They held the power to burst my protective bubble that I lived in. So I did the exact opposite of what my body wanted me to do. I picked one up, and took a huge bite out of it.

I was waiting for the fireworks and symphony in my mouth to happen, the mouthwatering sensation to fulfill me. None of that happened though. Instead, I had to force my teeth to move up and down, chewing. Then, once when it came time to swallow, my body was begging me not to. I knew I had to so slowly I let the food slide down my throat. It was like fire, slowly burning you. I wanted to scream and spit my food out, but I forced myself to swallow. I picked up my glass of water, and chugged it, trying to erase any trace of food.

I looked up at Percy, hoping he didn't notice my strange behavior. Though the funny yet confused look on his face told me he did indeed notice. He let out a sly smile.

"I guess you are more of a pizza girl?" Half of me filled relief. All Percy thinks it that I'm not in the mood for Mexican food. The other half knew better, Annabeth might call Percy a Seaweed Brain, but he wasn't dumb.

"So what are you and Annabeth fighting about?" I said, clearly changing the subject. At the mention of Annabeth's name, Percy's face grew with rage.

"So I barely walk through the door after going to work. Then the next things I know, I'm dodging inanimate objects." I couldn't help myself. From the expression on Percy's face, to his choice of words a smile spread across my face. I quickly erased it. These days, it seemed like there was nothing to smile about. Without him, smiling seemed so wrong. I cleared my throat.

"So why were you 'dodging inanimate objects'?" I mimicked Percy. He gave me a look, which seemed to say 'not funny'.

"Well, apparently I'm a quote 'Man Whore who is a cheating slut and should get my thing cut off." I couldn't help it. I laughed. Yes, I Thalia Grace, laughed, if it was even possible. My laugh seemed like it was dusty. Never used. I was amazed I even knew how to laugh. Little did I know, it would come back to bite me in the ass.

For the first time in a long time, I had a great three hours of the day. After I agreed that Percy could stay with me, which we both agreed was best if Annabeth didn't know. He would be moving in tomorrow. Now regularly, I would be worried about having to share my space with someone else. But it never crossed my mind while I was with Percy.

Now, driving home alone, it hits. Shit. Percy is going to be staying with me. He is going to get a glimpse behind my shield I keep up. He will see my weakness. He will discover how broken I truly am. And he will learn just how well I hide it. Fuck.

OooOOooooO

_I ring the door bell once. I wait two seconds, no answer. I ring the door bell twice. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. I wait for six seconds this time. Yet still, no answer. I know Nico's home, for he just called me telling me he was I'm starting to get mad at Nico. I ring the door bell again, at least seven times. I only wait for three seconds this time. I'm getting annoyed so I turn around to walk away. _

_ That's when I hear banging, and noises of glass breaking and furniture being thrown around. I run back to his door, banging on it. Then I get an epiphany. Nico gave me a key to his apartment. I throw my purse from my shoulders to the ground; I kneel next to it, frantically searching for my key ring. I have a bad feeling. I find it at the way bottom. I hurry and get up and turn towards the lock. I flip through my car key, office key, other car key, Nico's car key, my house key, my car key, another car key. I know time is running out. Just like a cliché, I find his apartment's key last._

_ I know it's too late, yet I still shove the key into the key lock. I turn the knob walking into his apartment. I brace myself for what I'm about to find. Then the scene shifts. Now Nico and I are sitting in his Mustang. Now I know that I'm dreaming. Yet I still turn my head to look at Nico. _

_ He is wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, and his favorite hoodie. His hair is the shaggy black mess I knew so well. His bangs cover half of his gouges black eyes. His skin is the pale I knew so well. This is my Nico. My love. I reach over to touch him. Hoping for a moment he is really there. When I touch his hand, I recognize the coolness of it. But it's not solid. It's a mist that my hand goes straight through. This snaps me back to reality. As long as I'm not awake I'm okay. I open my mouth to talk but nothing comes out._

_ Like every time, he starts to fade. I try to cry out his name, but I'm mute. I try to grab him, but that's impossible. So I'm forced to just sit there. While I watch the love of my life is ripped from me. This nightmare rules my life._

OOOooooOoOo

I woke up, gasping for air. My throat burns, my lungs feel like they are on fire. My eyes start to sting. Then, the tears are pouring down. There is no stopping them. I lay back down. Crying. I pull my blanket up to my eyes, and let the tears flow. I'm pretty sure I let out a scream of pain mixed with sorrow. I try to coax myself back to sleep, and then think better of it. Sleeping always makes it worse.

So I sit there, and take the pain. The kind of pain that I wish I could rip right out of my heart. I wish I could just take the love right out of my heart. Or just take my heart out. So I lay there. For the next thirty minutes, wishes that death would come for me. Then I could be with my king.

So I cry. I know that I won't be relived from the pain. I know crying doesn't help. Then, I'm forced to swing my legs from the side of the bed. I sprint to my bathroom. I kneel in front of the toilet and throw up. I know I'm there for a while, regurgitating my guts away. Once when I feel like I can't get sick anymore, I lay down on the cold bathroom floor. Weeping, wishing that this pain would go away. That I could be safe in his arms once again. Wishing for my happy ending. The thing is, this is no fucking fairy tale, so it doesn't end in a fucking happy ending. So that's why, I'm on this floor, crying my eyes out, screaming fuck it!

**So I must apologize for not updating. School started and has been a pain in the butt with homework. With tennis and other things, I hardly get to write anything for fun. **

** Now, I've read all my wonderful reviews that I thank you for. A lot of them were saying that this story is rather depressing. Let me just warn you know. This story is going to get depressing. It's coming up to be the end of the year, the saddest time around for my family. The way I take out my tears is through my writing. So I hope you stick with the story. It will man so much to me! **

** On a happier note: My birthday is in 2 weeks. Boo Yeah! If I get my laptop then I will get to write everyday! Also has anybody read the Maximum Ride series? I'm starting to read them and the books are amazing. Any who, if anyone's still interested in the story, then I will update again this weekend. Just leave me a review so I know that people are reading please. They mean so much to me! Until then, goodbye!**

**~ Gummy**


	3. Sobs through a bathroom door

"_We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." – Kenji Miyazawa_

"So where does Annabeth think you are?" I asked, naturally curious. Percy paused from putting his clothes in the dresser. Early that day, he had moved in. Now, he was unpacking, while I was leaning against the doorframe. Trying to be a good host and keep him company.

"She thinks I'm at a hotel. Knowing Annabeth, she probably thinks I'm with the person she thinks I cheated with her on." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Did you cheat on her?" I couldn't bite my tongue before the words slipped out. Percy turned towards me, with a look of otter shock. I knew Percy rather well. He wasn't the cheating type. He was too loyal to his friends or his girlfriend for that much. Yet, I still asked. And for some strange reason, deep down I hope he hadn't cheated.

"I didn't cheat. I was trying to get us a better house. The realtor was who I was with when she got mad. I would never cheat." He turned back around, finishing unpacking. Normally, I would have pushed on. Trying to get more information out of him, but it seemed like to much work. I was still hideously tired from the night before. So I just nodded.

I stood there and watched him unpack. I felt ashamed of myself for noticing the little things he did. Like the way he would get a far distance look in his eyes, if he wasn't doing something. Or the way he swept his bangs out of his eyes, either by shaking his head, or moving them with his hands. While I watched him, I couldn't help but thank my father that he was nothing like Nico.

Once when the thought ran across my mind, I wanted to hit myself. Cause then I started thinking of how Nico would look like he was staring out in space when he got board. How he would just simply flick his head to the side, to remove his bangs from his vision. Thinking of those memories only brought up other things. Such as the way he laughed. Or how I knew what his serious voice versus his joking tone was. The way he despised the sun, or how he was obsessed with black.

Thinking about him scared me. Even though I could remember a lot about him, there was a lot I couldn't recall. Not being able to know the slightest things that I wanted freaked me out. I couldn't remember. What did he use to wear to bed? What was his favorite food? What was his favorite show? What was his reason for hating Valentines Day? Even though I remember a lot about my Nico, I couldn't help but think I was starting to forget him.

This only brought me to hysterics because I couldn't imagine what I would do with out knowing the simple stuff. I hurried and turned away from Percy. I was practically running up the stairs. I ran into my room, heading straight to the bathroom. I shut and locked the door behind me, not forgetting I was no longer alone. I ran over to the toilet, lifting the toilet seat. I puked my guts out. I threw up so much that my body eventually just began to gag, since there was nothing left in me to let go.

Percy's POV

I slid down the door. After I saw Thalia run up the stairs like there was a fire. I slowly followed behind her. That's what brought me to be listing from the other side of the door. I felt like a spy, invading her privacy. But I couldn't just leave her. When I heard her getting sick, I wanted to make sure she was all right. She had to at least throw up seven times. Then she started gagging. I felt like I was going to be sick myself.

After about ten minutes, the toilet was flushed. The sink was turned on; she was probably brushing her teeth. The water stayed on for a minute. When it was shut, the silence was overcome by sobs. That hit my heart like a bulldozer. Never in my life, would I have thought Thalia would cry like that.

Her sobs quickly turned to screams, then back down to silent tears. I couldn't help but feel bad for Thalia. I stayed there for a while, making sure she was alright. When it seemed like she cried herself to sleep, I slowly made my way down the stairs. When I got to my room, I laid down. It explained so much. Thalia's behavior, her appearance, the reason she looked so fragile. It was all because of him.

Thalia's POV

The next morning, I awoke on the hard, cold bathroom floor. Last night's events went racing through my mind. I slowly stood up and walked over to the shower, turning it on full blast to hot. As steamed filled my bathroom, I undressed and hoped in. At first, I flinched at the hotness of the water. After a while I got use to it, it felt good to my skin. I squirted the shampoo in my hand, washing in through my hair, and then went for the conditioner. I spent at least ten minutes in the shower. I really didn't want to come out. When I turned the water off, I heard the downstairs' shower turn on.

I completely forgot about Percy. I walked over and wrapped myself in a towel, avoiding the mirror. I walked out of the bathroom, across my room to my closet. I grabbed a pair of short black shorts, and a longed sleeved blue t-shirt. I grabbed some under clothes and went back to the bathroom. After I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair, all without looking in the mirror I headed downstairs.

I walked downstairs, deciding that I should see what Percy would be doing, since it was a Sunday, he wasn't working. I walked down the flight of stairs heading to his room. His door was wide open, so I walked in. I wasn't planning on seeing Percy lying on top of his made-up bed. He was wearing some black skinny jeans. He didn't have a shirt to cover his abs. He had an earplug from his ipod in one ear. I cleared my throat, making him jump. He looked my way, taking the earphone out of his ear. It took him a minute to realize that he was shirtless, but before he did, he flashed me a meaningful look. I realized all too soon that he was on the other side of that door last night. Fuck.

**A/N: So I guess I should apologize for not updating. My life has been a mess lately. I won't bore you with the details. Anyways, I plan on updating soon since I'm on fall break if anyone is still reading this story... Also I'm starting another story call **_**When**__**it**__**Rains, it pours.**_** If you are a Thalico lover, you should defiantly check it out. Review?**

**~ Gummy **


	4. Got to move on

"_When you are in love and you get hurt, it's like a cut... it will heal, but there will always be a scar." – Anonymous _

Pure

Chapter: 3 Got to move on...

Thalia's POV

Percy jumped up, walking towards his dresser. He had his back to me, an easy way to escape. As much as my mind was telling me to make a run for it, my body fought me. I just didn't have the strength any more to fight. So I stood there in the door way. I watched as Percy pulled a deep blue shirt over his head. His hair had gotten messed up, but he just shook his head and his hair fell back into place.

He turned back to me, the moment my eyes met his, he gave me a very knowing, very understanding look.

"Would you like to talk about it?" It was those simple seven words that made me break down. It was those seven words that made me want to spill my heart and soul out to him. It was those seven words that showed me that someone cared.

The thought of telling Percy things scared the fuck out of me. My mind was screaming at me not to. I myself didn't want to. I knew it would be for the best if I just stayed locked up. If I never let my true emotions show. If I never admitted out loud of what hid underneath. For I feared that if I were to expose myself, tell everything that had happen since that forsaken day, I would be permanently broken. So I did the unthinkable.

"I would rather not." Just like that, I refused the slightest bit of therapy. It might have been the beginning of a new life. I might have gain some of my old life back, if I would have swallowed my pride and told Percy everything. The thing is don't think I am ready to let someone enter my private bubble. To let them know my deepest fears,  
the thoughts that I keep hidden in the back of my mind. The painful memories that I am forced to relieve, or the pitiful truth. Not yet, anyways.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

_I ring the door bell once. I wait two seconds, no answer. I ring the door bell twice. Ding-dong. Ding-dong. I wait for six seconds this time. Yet still, no answer. I know Nico's home, for he just called me telling me he was. I'm starting to get mad at Nico. I ring the door bell again, at least seven times. I only wait for three seconds this time. I'm getting annoyed so I turn around to walk away. _

_ That's when I hear banging, and noises of glass breaking and furniture being thrown around. I run back to his door, banging on it. Then I get an epiphany. Nico gave me a key to his apartment. I throw my purse from my shoulders to the ground; I kneel next to it, frantically searching for my key ring. I have a bad feeling. I find it at the way bottom. I hurry and get up and turn towards the lock. I flip through my car key, office key, other car key, Nico's car key, my house key, my car key, another car key. I know time is running out. Just like a cliché, I find his apartment's key last._

_ I know it's too late, yet I still shove the key into the key lock. I turn the knob walking into his apartment. I brace myself for what I'm about to find. In my dream, I wait_ _for the shifting scene. The one that shows my Nico, the right Nico, but it doesn't happen._ _Instead I walk deeper into his apartment. Everything is silent. If I didn't know better, I would say my ears played a cruel trick on me. But my eyes aren't deceiving me. His leather couch is tipped over, the pillows and blankets it held, scattered all over the floor. _ _His flat screen TV is on the floor, shattered. There is a lamp as well. My instincts tell me to stop, but I continue forward until I'm standing in the middle of his living room. _

_ Thats where I look down, and see the trail of blood. I start to follow it, my heart pounding. It leads right to his kitchen door. No matter how much I braced myself now, there was noway I would be prepared to find what I did. I weakly managed to open his French style kitchen door. That when it happened. That's when I saw the creature straight from hell, take the final lethal blow to Nico, and disappear. Just like that, it was gone. I ran over to Nico, his pale skin, was now colored with red, not black but red. He was covered with his own blood. I might be a daughter of Zeus, but I knew he was dead. I let out a bone chilling scream._

"Thalia, THALIA!" I was shook awake by no other then Percy. I looked up into his sea green eyes, which were filled with concern.

I'm going to be sick.

I jump out of bed and run to my bathroom, heading straight to the toilet. Before I knew what was happening, yet again I was pucking my guts out. Only there wasn't much gut left so acid started coming up instead. It burned my throat so bad, but I couldn't stop.

There, at one in the morning, in my bathroom stood Percy, witnessing this, yet still comforting me. Then there was me, kneeling in front of the toilet on the cold bathroom floor, begging my dad to relieve me of this pain. For someone to just kill me now.

After about fifteen minutes, I finally stop. Maybe it's because there is truly nothing left, or because tiredness sweeps in. Either way I find the strength to get off the bathroom floor and go over to the sink. I wash my hands, and then throw some water on my face. I look down while I brush my teeth, I can't bring myself to face Percy's stare that I know is there.

After brushing my teeth for a good five minutes, I rinse my mouth and dry my face with a towel. Then, it's like I can't hold it in any longer. My knees no longer can support my weight and instantly become water. I crashed to the ground. I couldn't hold it in much longer. I let the tears flow freely. The horrible screams escaped my mouth. I curled up into a ball, hugging my legs. Never in my life, have I thought a person could cry this much. Before I knew it, Percy was on the ground with me. He scooped me up. I was laying in his lap, crying over the boy that could never be mine again.

"Shh. Thalia, it was only a dream." Percy tried to comfort me.

"That's *sob* just * gasp for air* i-t...Percy *horrible choke* its.. wa-s more then *sob* just a dream." After I managed to get those words out, Percy's grip on me tightened.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

I woke up to the sound of my blackberry ringing. I looked around the room, hoping last night events didn't happen. But with Percy's arms around me, it was kind of hard to deny. How could I? What the hell was I thinking, letting Percy slip into my bubble? How the hell could I let him see the tears I cried for the son of Hades? Worse of all, how could I lay here, in another man's arm, when their not Nico's? My phone ringing snapped me out of my thoughts. I reached over to my night stand and grabbed my phone. With out looking at the caller ID, I answered.

"Hello?" My voice was horse and groggy.

"Hey Thals!" Annabeth's, very awake voice snapped my eyes open.

"Oh. Hey, Annabeth." I answer, not helping but feeling guilt.

"I really can't talk I'm at work, but could we go out for dinner tonight?" All I really could do was agree, but not before my stomach dropped. After I hung up, I looked at the time. _5:15 am Monday._ I got out of bed, disturbing Percy like I had planned. He grumpily looked up.

"Time to go to work." I said while going to my closet, to get my own work clothes. Well today shall be interesting.

**A/N: So did you like this chapter? I must say, it hard for me to write Perlia, I'm such a Thalico fan. Anyways, sorry for the late update. My life has been like a rollercoaster lately. A very bad rollercoaster. But hey, I found my Nico. :) He is a total hot skater that I need to get to notice me. Also I've been working on some other stories you should check out. Review?**

**~ Gummy**


	5. Dinner of Memories

"Sick of trying,

Tired of crying,

Yeah, I may be smiling,

But inside I'm dying."

My night was hell. My day was hell. My job was hell. Now I'm in hell, while sitting at this horrible restaurant, having dinner with Annabeth. I could think up about a thousand different places I would rather be then here. Include Hell at the top of that list.

Maybe it's the guilt. Having to sit here, listing to my "best friend" proclaim her love for the boy, who just last night, arm's where my sanctuary. Knowing that I've already heard the story of their Big Breakup, and how neither quite match. Or the shameless lying I'm doing; pretending I know nothing of this situation, or where Percy may be, and who he is with. Though, I believe the real reason is none other then the fact that I'm secretly hoping that her and Percy will never make up, or get back together. If that were to happen, then Percy, my safe haven, the person who seems to make all the pain I feel go num, will leave. Then I just might be alone in this godforsaken world.

Might it be the reason Hell sounds so appealing is not because of the guilt, rather then the annoyance? Not only am I sitting here, in an Italian restaurant, but the name d'Angelo so happens to be pasted out front. Or the fact that I really would like to in fancy words regurgitate, but can't. My world seems like its spinning, too many reminders of Nico, after all, this is, I mean was, his restaurant. My annoyance could be coming from the fact that Annabeth was to heartless to even look at the place that she just had to meet with me at. I know what it is; it's the tears that are welling up in Annabeth's eyes. Treating to escape, mourning the fact that Percy is no longer hers. I understand that it was a bad break up and all. But, at least he is still fucking breathing.

Yet, I know I'm only trying to fool myself. I know the real source of my anger is not guilt or annoyance. It's because of the guy sitting across the restaurant. So many times have I commanded my eyes not to wonder in his direction, but still, I find myself looking at him. His wave of night hair, reaches mid way down his neck, and half way down his face. I still manage to see his eyes, as black as a soul, when he flicks his bangs. He wears all black, with skinny jeans and converse. Whenever he flashes his 360 watt smile, and bellows his deep, rough laugh at his company at the table, my heart breaks.

Call me crazy, but I can't help but to think of Nico. Maybe it's just because I am here in HIS restaurant, starring at someone who oddly resembles him. Like the fact that his hair was not the same length as my Ghost King, but the same exact mid-night black color. Or how this eyes, seem their lurking their way into your soul, giving you the same creepy sensation Nico always managed to give out. It could be the way he wears his chain, on the left side, just like Nico. The only thing that throws me off is the converse. Nico's were always all black. But this mysterious stranger's where "classic converse". My eyes start stinging, giving their fair warning that they are about to damage my pride out in public. I look away, and focus my attention back on Annabeth.

"Where do you think he could be?" Annabeth asked, pleading with both her eyes and voice. I knew my face held no emotion, so it would be easier to tell the lie.

"I have no idea, Annabeth. He didn't say where he was going?" Flawless. Absolutely flawless. How am I so go at this whole lying thing.

"Of course he didn't say where he was going! I guess I will have to swallow my pride, and call him." I nodded my head in agreement. I really wasn't paying attention, rather then just saying what I thought Annabeth would expect to hear.

"Do you think he will come back home?" I was about to say 'yeah' or 'most certainty' when my head snapped up in horror. What would I do without Percy? I mean, I really shouldn't need him, but then again, he does seem to patch the hole in my chest rather well. But I don't need Percy. I let my eyes once again wander around the room, but someone they found their way right back to the black haired guy. At that exact moment, he looked up and our eyes met, and just like that, I was practically hyperventilating. As much as I hate to admit it, my life just might go down the tubes without Percy. So what I did next was completely, outmost, selfish of me.

"Give the guy some time, Annie." It was those five simple words that changed my life forever.

That night, after I came back from dinner with Annabeth, I found myself on my cold, hard, bathroom floor, once more. The tears were flowing freely down my face. My throat was choking with the sobs and screams it contained. My heart was shattered; from the sorrows of sitting in Nico's restaurant, and knowing he would never be able to be the boss there again, seeing the guy who looked so much live Nico, with the only difference being shoes and life. And the fact that reality slapped me in the face once again today, telling me how much I really do need Percy in my life.

It wasn't long before I found my head back in the toilet, throwing up absolutely nothing since I had nothing in my system. My vision was blurred, my cheeks stinging. I was so out of it that I didn't notice when strong, safe arms were wrapped around my fragile body. I was unaware when the pains started become num that I was carried off to my bed. And I was completely oblivious to the fact that that night, I slept in safe arms.

**A/N: Hello people who are still reading this story. Let me just apologize for not updating in such a long time. My life has been hell, but now I know that I will start updating on a regular basis. I'm sad to report that the next chapter will be the last chapter in this story. But if you still want to read more, I will be writing another 'Thalico' story named "The Sorrows of Yesterday". Keep watch for it if you'd like. Sorry for such a short chapter as well. I promise the next one will be twice as long. **** Review?**

_**~ Gummy **_


	6. So Be It

"_With you my heart will always stay. With you my thoughts will be every day. You remain to be the one that I regret letting get away. Why didn't I say what I needed to say? You are the one I will always use my wishes on. You are the one I will always wish was never gone. I'll constantly wonder what went wrong. I'll forever think of what I could've did that was never done."_

_~ Unknown_

The guilt I feel can't compare to the pain I live without him. But the guilt is eating me alive, and the pain is starting to be bearable. How can I even imagine a world without him that does not involved pain and heart break. Could I really even consider it? Would I allow myself to live, knowing that his smile, laugh and self is not on this planet with me? How much convincing will I have to do to tell myself that I will be okay, until we meet again? Worst of all, how can I feel that it's right to be with another, that is not my Ghost King?

Days quickly turned into weeks, while weeks into months. And every single night I needed Percy. I needed the comfort of his arms, the safeness that his touch held. The soothing tone his voice always had. I needed to sleep in his arms to feel remotely safe. It was almost as if he was barrier of the bad dreams, the nightmares that haunted me in my sleep. I never thought that I would see the day when I, Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus, ex- Lieutenant of Artemis admitted I needed Percy Jackson.

I sighed, while letting the hot water from my shower run down my face. What was happening to me? I took three inhales of steam, and rinsed the suds off of me, then shut of the nice feeling water. Stepping out the shower, I picked up a black towel. But not before I saw my reflection in the mirror. My ribs were now visible. Any muscle I had, no longer was there. The old Thalia was slipping away right under my nose. Along with that old Thalia, Nico too, was slipping away.

Holding back a cry, I quickly dried myself off. I slipped on some under clothes, a black muscle shirt and Percy's black sweat pants. I combed out my hair, letting it stay down. I brushed my teeth, and then exited the bathroom, heading for bed.

I wasn't surprised to see Percy sprawled across my bed, listing to his ipod. It had become a habit, or a sort of routine. He just slept in my room with me. Probably so he wouldn't have to walk up, come all the way from downstairs, and wake me up from the horrors. Pulling back the covers, I crawled in my king size bed, not thinking that I disturbed Percy. But of course, the earphones came out, and he opened his arms. I only hesitated for a moment before crawling into his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Percy asked. My guess was that he was asking about my puffy red eyes.

"Nope." Was my only answer.

"Night Thals." Were the only two words he mumbled, clearly upset that I wouldn't be more modest with him, before reaching over and turning off the lights.

"Night Perce." Guilt was leaking from my voice.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

_ I found myself sitting in the passenger seat of Nico's mustang. It smelled of Nico's memorable cologne and new car. I looked over to my left, not at all surprised to find Nico sitting in the driver's seat. He is wearing his black skinny jeans and favorite hoodie. His black, shaggy hair covers half his pale face. I know this dream to well. But temptation temps me to reach over and touch my love's hand. I wait for my hand to go through his, for him to start fading. But to my astonishment, his hand is solid._

_ "Nico?" He turns his head, and flashed his amazing 250 watt smile at me. _

_ "Hey Thals! It looks like you could eat a pork chop… or two." And just like that, this really is my Nico, my Nico who knew how to make me feel better when I'm down. Nico, who knew how to make a joke out of a serious situation, my Nico who I would die a million times over, just to be with him. _

_ "Yeah, you can do that to a person, especially if that person is a certain daughter of Zeus." Nico shakes his head in disappointment. His smile slowly fading into a frown, and while his face screamed shame. _

_ "I'm so sorry Thalia. I should have fought harder; I should have not allowed you to enter my apartment that day. I should have never allowed us to fall in love." He hung his head low, and my heart began to hurt. Losing Nico to death was one thing, but never loving Nico would have just been horrible. _

_ "Don't you dare say that d' Angelo." my voice trembled but still came across threatening. Nico nods his head for the first time trying to avoid a fight. _

_ "The point is you have to move on Thals. I'm okay with it. I need you to move on. You can't live your life like this, I won't allow it." I start to object, about to claim how I'm not a piece of property. But Nico bending down over me, brushing his lips against mine, tasting the familiar death flavor that his lips always held make me bite my tongue. I try to hold on to this moment for eternity, but all too soon he breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes with his black eyes. Those damn black eyes that I spent so many nights looking into. Thos black eyes that belonged to the love of my life. Those black eyes that made me fall in love, and that cut forever into a moment._

_ "Please, if you won't do it for yourself, do it for me? Please move on, keeping me as a memory not what you wish could be? Please Thals, for me?" I start shaking my head, not about to give into his request, but with one quick kiss to my forehead, he starts to fade. And the tears start coming down, once more._

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

You know how you get that feeling, like life is so horrible, no matter what, it can't possibly get worst? Well that's about where I was, that was until sitting here at this stupid breakfast table with Annabeth, listing to the news she was delivering. So I guess life can get worst.

"So let me get this straight. You and Percy made up and now he's moving back in with you?" I asked, shocked and horrified. This can't be happening. Once when I finally start filling the whole Nico left, the paste that was helping fill it was leaving too? Automatically my thoughts jumped to all those long, painful nights that I didn't have to bare alone. Or all those midnight awakenings Percy was kind enough to do. And how in his safe arms, I always slept just so I could an hour or to of sleep. Worst of all, the fact that I was actually falling for that stupid son of the sea, actually granting Nico's last wish of moving on, getting better.

"Oh. That's nice." I managed to choke those words out. Not at all meaning them, I mean how could I? How could I actually be happy for them when the only person here on earth that could make me laugh or feel safe was leaving? Or the fact that I was ignorant enough to believe that it was okay to start falling for my best friend's ex- boyfriend?

"And I'm not mad at you, Thalia." Annabeth continued. I just looked up at her, with a blank expression.

"Why would you be mad at me?" I asked, not really caring about the answer, more or less wondering how life would be after Percy left.

"Well, you know for allowing Percy to stay with you. He didn't even have to tell me nothing happened, because I knew you wouldn't allow it." I don't know if it was the way she said it, or maybe because something did most certainly happen, even if it was nothing physical. But I convinced myself; I don't fucking need Percy damn Jackson. I didn't need his comfort, support or presence. I could survive without him. I did once and I could do so again. I flashed a smile at Annabeth.

"Oh."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

I wasn't surprised to see Percy packing his things when I got home that evening. And I tried so hard not to care. I put my things down and walked downstairs to his room. The door was wide open, so I knocked three times on the wall before going in. He looked up from folding his clothes at me, and smiled.

"Hey Thals." I took a deep breathe.

"Hi Perce…" An awkward silence was filled with a zipper zipping. Percy pulled the last suitcase off the bed and put it with his other three.

"So I take it you talked to Annabeth?" Percy asked talking a seat on the bed, and patting the spot next to him, signaling for me to seat down at well. I silently sighed and walked over to the bed seating down by him.

"Yup, I did. I'm happy that you guys managed to work it out." Was the biggest lie that I ever said. Percy smiled weakly at me. The room was filled with silence.

"Me too." Percy said a few seconds off, and not that convincing. I nodded my head, with nothing more to say.

"Listen Thalia…" I looked up into his sea green eyes, and before I realized what was happening, Percy was leaning down and crashed his lips into mine. It felts so bittersweet. I knew I shouldn't be making out with my best friend's boyfriend, but I couldn't pull myself away from the kiss. Even when I tried to think of Nico, the only thing I could thin of was him saying to move on. The only, only thing I was thinking of was how soft Percy lips were. How amazing this kiss was, and how much I needed him. After a few more moments we broke apart, gasping for air.

"Umm I think I should get going." Percy said standing up. I nodded my head in agreement. He went over and grabbed two of his suit cases. I stood up and grabbed the other one and followed behind Percy. We walked out to his mustang. After he loaded up his car he turned around to face me.

"I'm just a phone call away." Were the only words before he scoped me up in his arms, hugging me 'til I couldn't breathe.

"Thanks Perce."

**A/N: **

**I want to address a review I received proclaiming how they found this story offensive because of their own experience with this sort of thing. I want to apologize if I offended anyone with this story. I didn't mean it to come across that way, but before I critique me, realize this story wasn't a joking matter like how you accused it of being. And what would make you think that I haven't gone through something similar as well. Note the review was anonymous so I couldn't reply. **

**Any who, so I guess that's that? Sorry it took me a moment to update, I've been busy. So did you like it? Hate it? Can't live without it? Let me know in a review. **** Also, how many of us out there would like a sequel? I think I might want to write one… I guess it will depend on how many people request one (hint, hint) Review?**

**~ Gummy**


End file.
